Don’t let the title scare you I promise that I am walking with you to a safe place. It is a place that often goes ignored. A place that you may have neglected to explore yourself. It is taboo to speak about even though the Bible clearly mentions it. It is a beautiful land that I think we should all wonder down at some point. It is the land of permanent singleness. What if singleness was not just a season of your life? What if God destined for you to be single and serve the Kingdom without a husband?
In Jeremiah chapter 29 there was a letter of encouragement that was sent to the exiles in Babylon. This letter has one of the most quoted scriptures, verse 11: For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. People love this verse. But in relation to our topic, what if those plans did not include you ever getting married? How would that affect your walk with God?
I have thought about this question many times on this single journey. And if I can be honest with you all at one point I felt like God owed me a husband. I mean as I was introduced to Christianity, and was also introduced to the idol of marriage. I read articles and watched sermons that told me that my obedience and faithfulness to God was my preparation for a husband. That the things I did in this temporary season of singleness, God was using to prepare me to be a good wife one day. So naturally that is what I believed. I learned how to pray for my future husband, covering him before he ever arrived. Believing and having faith that God would grant this desire. I was given so much information about “preparing for your mate.” But I was never introduced to the idea that, that may not be God’s will for my life.
There were times when I would just associate every “man of God” that I met with the possibility of him being “the one.” Call me crazy but I know I am not alone (whether you admit it or not). You meet a guy, he loves the Lord, he seems interested, and the next thing you know, you have planned the wedding and how many kids you were gonna have. Honey, you don’t even know this man’s last name, but you know what color those bridesmaid dresses will be. You envision the tag team ministry God will make possible through your marriage. You know that’s like a must when you’re saved right? I was given this picture but was never told that the picture is not the same for everyone.
An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world– how she can please her husband. I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord. 1 Corinthians 7:34b-35
Paul said the above words not to make marriage seem like a bad thing (please read the chapter in its entirety). But in order to shine a light on the positive factors to singleness. A life totally devoted to the Lord, a life that I was never told about until I began to distance myself from teachings that helped me to idolize marriage. We should not be focusing on being the right woman for marriage, we should spend time preparing to be a righteous woman of God. Because whatever God wills for our lives will require just that. Our devotion, our loyalty, our time, and our willingness to submit to His will. God has a mission and a plan specifically for your regardless of your relationship status. Walk fully in that and stop sitting around waiting for a husband that may never come. There are too many people needing the gifts God has given to you, for you to be twiddling your thumbs.
I have learned on this journey that there is no crime in desiring to be married, there is no crime in being single. But it is a crime when we let those things rule our devotion to God. In whatever season that you are currently in I pray that the last few posts helped you to think truthfully about some things in your life. Where you are in this moment with God and pray about where you need to be. It is true that on this earth we get one life, so make sure that it is fully experienced with God, single or married.
I love you all, but God loves you so much more.
Jessica Loren xoxo
P.S. Thank you so much for being apart of this journey with me and reading about my unsuccessful time as a single (part 1 and part 2 ). Things aren’t always perfect on this road, but as I learn and grow, things get easier to deal with. I would love it if you would comment with your thoughts and tell me how you felt about the last 3 weeks of this topic. Next week we will begin a new topic that God has for us to journey together 🙂